#154 Breaking Silence: How Censorship Harms Survivors

What if the very systems meant to support survivors are silencing them instead?

On this compelling episode of the Healing Through Love Podcast, psychologist and founder of Life’s Explicit, Leah Spasova, joins Sharlene Lynch to expose how censorship suppresses support, stigmatizes healing, and blocks access to life-changing education for trauma survivors.

Leah shares her lived and professional experience with the damage caused when open conversations about intimacy, consent, abuse, and healing are censored. Whether it’s social media platforms muting important terms or communities banning sex-positive education, the result is the same: survivors feel silenced, unsupported, and ashamed.

Through her groundbreaking platform, Life’s Explicit, Leah offers a bold alternative—a safe, uncensored, inclusive space where survivors, professionals, and educators can engage in real, honest, expert-led conversations that empower healing and transformation.

In this episode, you’ll learn how early intervention and unfiltered resources can help break cycles of abuse before they begin. Leah offers tools to resist censorship, guidance for maintaining access to safe content, and a powerful reminder that healing thrives in truth, not silence.

Whether you're a survivor seeking resources or a healer fighting for access to your voice, this is the conversation the world needs now.

🎧 Listen now to reclaim your right to heal, speak, and thrive—uncensored. 

💡 Three Key Takeaways: 

1.     Censorship Silences Survivors – Learn how restrictions on dialogue around trauma and intimacy worsen isolation and block healing. 

2.     Why Early Intervention Matters – Understand the role of open education in preventing abuse and supporting emotional resilience. 

3.     Tools to Stay Empowered – Discover how to access safe, uncensored, expert-led content and push back against censorship with confidence.

✨ CONNECT WITH LEAH:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leahspasova/

Website: https://www.lifesexplicit.com/

📍 PROMOTION: https://www.lifesexplicit.com/products/lifesexperts-ebook-the-big-3-secrets-for-a-pleasure-filled-intimate-life

Transcript

Voiceover | 00:02
Welcome to another episode of Healing Through Love. Each week, we share ideas, experiences and resources to increase the awareness of domestic and family violence and to empower survivors to grow and thrive. We talk with experts who share their advice. Or with people who have experienced abuse, no matter where they are on their journey. This is all about healing through love. And now, here are your hosts. Sharlene Lynch and Rose Davidson. 

 Sharlene | 00:42
Welcome to the Healing Through Love podcast. I'm Sharlene Lynch and together we're shining a light on hope, resilience and transformation in the journey to end domestic violence. Each week we bring you inspiring interviews with changemakers, survivors, advocates and experts who are making a difference in the lives of those affected by domestic and family violence. Whether you're on a healing journey yourself or supporting someone who is, this is a safe place for powerful stories, practical tools and heartfelt inspirations. Let's heal through love together. I'm very excited to introduce to you today a fantastic guest, Leah Spasova, I've got to practice that. She is a psychologist. She is in sex and relationship expert and the founder of Life's Explicit. I need to know more about that. A groundbreaking censorship free platform for sexual wellness. I need to know more. 
 So through Life's Explicit, So that's the business name. She's Companions exclusive sex positive resources and education helping break down taboos and provide a safe place for expert led support. Leah's mission is to create accessible, stigma-free pathways to sexual and relationship well-being. Wow. Okay. Tell me more. How did you get here? 

 Leah | 02:11
Okay, do you want an origin story or? How we ended up with life's explicit being in existence. 

 Sharlene | 02:20
Yeah, both. I want to know it. 

 Leah | 02:22
All. Okay. 
 Long story short, in personal background, I was just lucky to have parents that believed in my education and that included sex and relationship education. So as a child would ask things about, you know, where do babies come from and how things happen, etc. I would Those questions and my dad would answer as a matter of fact, he would just answer as a stage appropriate kind of education. 
 So if I was five and I asked where do babies come from, he would say something along the lines of like, well, Again, that's in the 90s, like times have changed, but he would say something like, well, when two people want a baby, the man would give a seed to the woman and they'll plant it in her belly. And then that's how the baby would grow. 
 And then they have a baby. So he wouldn't go into explaining a penis and vagina and the uterus and like all these things, because I was what only like a child. 
 So if my questions evolved, his answers would evolve with it. But further down the line, when I was a teenager, when I was 14, a government organization from my hometown came to school and they held a talk about domestic abuse and violence and human trafficking. And I felt that for the first time in my schooling career, I actually learned something about real life. And I was curious to know more and delighted when they said, we have a youth club. 
 So if you want to learn more about these things, you're welcome. It's free. We meet twice a week to learn about those things. And I even used to skip school to go to the club meetings because they were so helpful and useful in understanding society. The world and what was happening. And how relationships work. They even took us to multi-day trainings across the country. To talk about how power dynamics work, what's a toxic relationship, how to recognize abuse. How to have like a safe, phrases with family and friends if something went wrong and we wanted to give them a signal that we're in deep trouble and they need to react. In a, you know, give them a signal in a non-conspicuous way. And so these kind of learnings from that very early age laid the foundation for me to want to be a psychologist and to work in the field, helping people with those kind of challenges and I went down the psychology and counseling route, worked in mental health, and... I was in the UK and I got disillusioned by the state of affairs in the health system. And ended up after a lot of drama at my workplace, I ended up deciding that I need to start my private practice because people were still calling me from like 10 plus years ago saying, hey, Leah, I've got this boyfriend, girlfriend, I have this sexual issue challenge. And I was like God, like. Okay, like tell me more, let's figure this out. 
 So that's how I ended up with my private practice specializing in sex and relationships as a psychologist. And one of the things that I found was that running a business in that field is really difficult because we get censored. 
 Right? We like talking, I mean in the USA right now the word female is getting banned, the word trauma is getting banned. I don't know whether you knew about this, but the government has issued a massive list of words that are getting banned. And I'm like, how can you ban the word trauma or female? 
 You know, like... Or inequality. Wow. But I learned that we are very much censored and I ended up starting something I called the Sexpert Business Community. 
 So it's a community for sexperts to connect and support each other in the business realm of our work. And Lies Explicit was born because I saw a lot of professionals drop out of the field because they couldn't crack the business, because they hated the marketing, they hated the censorship, they just struggled. And Life's Explicit is... Looks like any other directory out there where you can find sex and relationship professionals specifically. 
 So if you are struggling with, self-esteem issues or if you're kinky or if you're struggling with health issues, etc. You can go and find a professional that specializes in that in relation to sex and relationships. Because I kept having inquiries from people saying, can you help me with, let's say, gender issues? And I'm like, I'm not a gender expert. I want to have a place where I refer those people to and they can find what they need. 
 So that's how Less Explicit was born. On one side to support my community of fellow professionals and on the other side to help people find us because people cannot even find us because of this censorship. This is the long story, as short as possible, as to how I arrived here and what's life's explicit and what's its aim. 

 Sharlene | 07:52
I love it all. For me, business is like porn. I just, I'm a business coach for three decades. And for me, it's just all layers of sexy.
 So I love it when you talk business. It's, you know, you're turning me on, babe. I love it. Okay, so...
 Look, what we know as a survivor myself and many of our community and our listeners are as well is that this disconnect with our bodies, this disconnect with our ability to really accept pleasure in a different way. Without the blame and the shame and everything that's come with it, the low frequency stuff, because of the history that we've come from, the background that we've come from. For us, it's a little bit, well, it's not just a little bit, it is a challenge. It's a block for us to move forward to have healthy relationships.
 So with our audience today, do you think that we could have a conversation about what are some things that our listeners could do? To help them move forward? Or are you just suggesting that if they've got a challenge, they need to just go see a professional? It's not something that you can self-manage.
 Leah | 09:01
I would say it that way. You can definitely learn from books, from courses, from listening to podcasts, etc. The application is the devil. How do you apply it? Do you see your blind spots? Do you see what's actually holding you back or you are... Just Thinking, you know, I had one client a few years back that just kept saying, I don't know what I don't know. And that's why I need you. And that's the thing, oftentimes we are too close to it and we can't Loom out enough to see the whole picture and to see what we actually need that doesn't mean that we can't provide tips and strategies and people cannot begin that journey sometimes you need to start on your own you need to wonder a little get lost a little get found a little before you're like okay i think i'm ready for that journey So, Here's the thing. If you are going down that path of self-discovery with the podcast, with the books, with the courses online, and you hit a roadblock and you're like, I can't move past this. I'll say it. Find help. 
 You know, that's the point where I'm like, don't, waste your time anymore find help because you don't know what you don't know. 

 Sharlene | 10:20
So true. It's interesting the conversations that differ between men and women. And I'm married now to only a couple of years. 
 So we just celebrated our second year anniversary. And when we go out a dinner party, eventually the two groups separate, you know, the women will sit in one area, we'll have a natter and the boys usually sitting around, I don't know, the man cave area with usually drinks in their hand. But you know, when I walk between the two, I hear the conversations are very different. And These are from people who haven't come from an environment where, for the most part, that they are survivors of family and or domestic violence. But still the conversations are different. And what I notice is that the depth that women are happy to have conversations about the nitty gritty of sex and how boys just don't, men, because come on, I'm 58. They're not boys. They're men. How their conversation is so vastly different. I don't know. Do you think that females have an added advantage because we're prepared to talk about things that would obviously be taboo for boys to talk about? 

 Leah | 11:29
To a degree. Because our whole existence is a taboo. And unless you start, it's true. 
 Like you look at women's history through time. My God. We were always like second-class citizens. 
 So if we're not prepared to go down the rabbit holes of challenging the taboo, challenging the status quo, fighting for what's rightfully ours, pleasure, as respect, as, you know, just compassion even from the world there's no way for us forward we cannot give ourselves compassion unless we deserve we feel that we deserve it and we fight for it women have never... I've never had the upper hand in anything when it comes to power. Except for when sex happens most of the time. But how it happens where like what happens during sex women have not had that much power over and that's the path to discovery that's the path to healing to begin that self-ownership to know that you are the person that owns you. 
 You know, that song pops into my mind, you don't know me. And I'm like, yeah, women need to embrace and, believe in their self, ownership in their sovereignty before they can begin that journey of healing and self-pleasure and pleasure with their partners. Because it is your responsibility, your pleasure is your responsibility. Your responsibility is to find out what works with yourself with your partner or partners if you're polyamorous and it's to communicate it and to make sure that they're listening, they are learning. And they are interested Gosh, if you're with someone who's not interested in your pleasure, Run as fast as you can. 

 Sharlene | 13:40
I love it. So at the base of all of this is communication. And So how can we between the sexes. How can we? And even the same sex, how can we have better communication? 

 Leah | 13:55
That involves shedding a lot of the shame and guilt and sense of shame. Sex is a taboo. Because for as long as you hold this as taboo, it holds power over you to be quiet and not make noise about it, not to communicate, etc. For me, the amount of times that people have told me, you're lucky, all of your friends are sex positive and you can say whatever you want at any point. I'm like, I'm not lucky. I just... Speak about those things as a matter of fact. I don't treat them as taboo. I would speak to someone about sex on the queue in the bank. 
 You know, like if they ask me, what do you do? And I say, I'm a psychologist specializing in sex and relationship. And they ask me questions, I will respond. I'm not hiding. I'm not pretending. It's again, going back to that, I own who I am. You cannot define me. And women have been defined by men for as long as we know. That's going back to you own yourself. Own yourself. And own what is important for you. 
 And then when you start. Positively owning it. You shed the shame. With much greater ease and you just say what you want and how you want it. How often you want it. That's it. 

 Sharlene | 15:25
So in your opinion, in your learned opinion, is there a difference between love and sex? 

 Leah | 15:31
Yeah. Wow. Huge. I can love you and still not want to have sex with you. And I may, I'm like despise you and want to have sex with you all night long You know, it's for some people it's connected, but if we look at it at the basics of it, if we boil it down to its basics, then Sex is a physical act. 
 Yeah, we put a lot of emotion in it. And when we do put a lot of emotion in it, it's definitely different. Right. It's the same as like, your investment in making a meal. If you're not passionate about it, you're probably going to buy something from the shop that you can microwave and have in two minutes. But if you're passionate about cooking and the experience of eating a really good meal, you're going to put two, three hours into making that. Dish, whatever it is, right? 
 So When it comes to sex and love. We need to understand that everybody has different concepts. For me, they're different things. They have very different things. And they're not necessarily connected. They can be. But that's again down to personal interpretation. And personal preferences to how you prefer to express yourself intimately, romantically. There are people who are aromantic, there are people who are asexual, you know, so... That means they're not interested in people romantically, but might be sexually or they're. Interested sexually, or interested in romantically, but not sexually. The variety out there is as many people as there are on this planet, which counting is like 8 billion plus people. 

 Sharlene | 17:18
It's just about getting the right people together. I love it. Okay, so on a darker subject, the conversation about sex and power and how that relates to, you know, the trade, both prostitution and the human trafficking. 
 So how do we define the difference there? 

 Leah | 17:42
The difference between Okay. 

 Sharlene | 17:44
Power, and sex. 

 Leah | 17:48
There is a... I love the topic of power. My favourite quote, one of my favourite quotes by Oscar Wilde is, Everything is about sex. Except sex. 6. Is about. Power. And The reality of it is that these two are very connected. And. Let's be statistically honest. Throughout time, mostly men have exploited mostly women and children. For, financial gain. By selling their bodies. And when I was 14 in this non-governmental organization, we got told the following: Human trafficking is the number one business in the world. It's better to own people and sell them than to buy drugs and resell them. Because you can sell an ounce of... Coke or whatever once. That's it. The money's cha-ching. You've made it. But you can sell a woman or a child multiple times a day. And that's the scariest thing that a lot of people don't recognize that for someone to go into that trade, they're looking to make big money and they don't care for human life. And When I was 14, we got recommended to watch that movie called Human Trafficking. It's from, I think, 2009. Six or something. It's probably one of the hardest movies that I've had to watch because it depicts different ways of how women and children get sold in men get sold into human trafficking. They get sold by their parents. They get sold by their. Suppose boyfriends... They get stolen from markets and sold into human trafficking. There are various ways in which people end up in human trafficking. But one of the most you know, brutal for the trust in society is being sold by your parents. Or being sold. By your partner. And when it comes to Power and sex. These are absolutely interlinked. Women have a lot of power over men when it comes to sex. That they don't realize. And men have a lot of power too that they don't realize. But once we begin to realize our power. We can use it for good. Or for evil, true evil. And that's how it is used in human trafficking, especially by people who are posing to be your partner, for instance. 

 Sharlene | 20:40
It is a topic of conversation that needs to be had. And it's unfortunate that we live in a society where these things are happening. And yet it's challenging to talk about it because we are censored. Bye. It is a blessing to be able to have a podcast, that we can have these conversations and talk about. The things that really are happening so that we can pull back the covers and have the conversations that need to be had. If you're listening today and you are a survivor of family and or domestic violence, reach out to Healing Through Love. We hold pamper days. 
 So think day spa on steroids where we have professional therapists, beauticians come and pamper you for the day for free. To help see help you see the value of you and what is possible for you now these are held not just here locally in South Australia but in every state in Australia and globally so if you're a practitioner and you're You've got a heart for change and you want to make a difference, reach out to Healing Through Love. We would love to work with you and have you at one of our next events and as a practitioner. This has been a fabulous conversation. I'm really enjoying it, Leah. I think there's more for us to talk about. 
 So what I'd love to do is have you back as a guest later on down the track. So just as finishing today, please share with us your final words of wisdom to the audience that's listening. 

 Leah | 22:06
I would definitely say if you're on a healing journey find the right professional for yourself. Don't work with people if you're not clicking with people. There's plenty of professionals out there. And... Make sure that... As you're going through that healing journey, you put yourself first, because if you don't, nobody else will. And, Again, if you are seeking for the right support, it may be at a different level. For a different issue may not be for domestic abuse, but it might be that you're kinky or whatever. Go on Life's Explicit and explore the resources and the professionals there and Just, Stay on the journey. Keep growing. 
 Like life is amazing once you accept your power within. And you heal so you can enjoy it. 

 Sharlene | 23:00
I love it. It's been a beautiful conversation. It's a goodbye from me and a goodbye from Leah. 

 Leah | 23:05
Thank you. 

 Voiceover | 23:09
Thank you for joining us for this episode of Healing Through Love. You can get further resources See the show notes or simply reach out to us via our website at htlaustralia.org. Thanks so much for joining us and we look forward to your company next time on the Healing Through Love podcast.